God, I’m so tired.

I can’t wait for this to be over.

I was in a meeting…and this project manager said to everyone “I think we’re seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m pretty sure it’s not a train.”

I frowned, because I thought to myself…

“I’m pretty sure it’s a grizzly bear in a miner’s helmet.”

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

…

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Wiping foam from corners of mouth.)

Dear Producers of Tidy Cat brand Cat Litter,

I would like to take this moment to extend my thanks to you. Recently you’ve decided to better market your cat litter by placing little paper flyers at the bottom of your bag.

Your promotional campaign afforded me the opportunity to better understand my cat. While I was down on all fours, pawing around in the litter, I feel I came to a better understanding of the entire Feline Drama.

Your Fan,
Shawn

I got a girl, her name is Peg
She looks kind of pretty but she’s got a wooden leg
She’s got a leg shaped like the leg of a chair
But when it comes to dancing, no one can compare

Peg Leg Peggy she really knows how to hop
She really knows how to hop
She really knows how to hop
When it comes to dancing she’s the queen
She sounds just like a sewing machine
Peg Leg Peggy she really knows how to hop
She really knows how to hop
She really knows how to hop

Fate conspired two bring these three together.

A Brazillian.
A French Canadian
and
Me…

All with different accents, unable to fully understand each other.

All chewing gum loudly while attempting to talk to each other.