I’ve been doing battle with these guys for a while. You may have seen it in previous entries. I took a very mild approach. I cleaned everything as often as I could. That knocked them down a bit. Then it just got bad. Every once and a while I’d see one of the winged guys. Something changed and suddenly there were four of them flying around.

I finally just felt too trashy. I had to actually go after the ants. My weapons are more of the [ALL ONE SPACE-GOD SPRAY] and a [MacGuyveresque] array of the following.

2 - 1/2 Cup Tupperware containers.
1 tsp - Mint Jelly (Safeway Select Brand)
1/2 tsp - 20 Mule Team Borax Laundy Enhancer

That seemed to do the trick. So, instead of just making the place unattractive to them, I had to kill them. It may seem minor to most everyone reading this, but I ended up taking one in the morals.

Godspeed, Trolly.

Carry him swiftly across Styx.
He owes Charon no toll.

There’s a joke in here somewhere. I don’t think I need to tell YOU, that in it, at some point, a nun gets naked.

I wrote about [Crazy Midi Man] (Warning, be ready to mute or turn down your sound!) a while ago. The [link] came up on the side bar as a random link. In checking it out, I found he has become PROLIFIC.

Apparently he had a falling out with his church, and can’t play the organ there any more. This has given him a LOT more time to write about such things as:

[It Is Time To Be Chipped]
[My Television Watching Plus Satellite Viewing Habits]
[(Resume) Mr. MIDI Foster!]
[ABORTIONS Can Now Save LIVES! YES!!]
[Degreed Persons Can Be The Biggest (ANUSES FOOLS!)]

Be sure to let the video on the main page load, and watch it. It’s like… the little red pork you get at Chinese restaurants. It gets you ready for everything that follows.

There’s an article up over at Metafilter. Within this article, there’s a comment.

[Korean pop group has Soeul | Metafilter]

“This is just ‘race drag’. Funny how drag (appropriation of gender for performance purposes) isn’t usually thought of as misogynist, but nobody gets away with race appropriation without being called racist.
posted by psychoticreaction at 1:40 PM PST on February 24″

Thinking about it, drag queening could be considered pretty misogynistic. The behavior, and makeup is a very twisted, perverse view of what it supposedly is to be feminine. By perverse I mean distorted. Aspects of the feminine are blown up, skewed, and emphasized, in a fashion very similar to blackface.

Also: SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY RACE DRAG DRAG RACE, TICKETS ONLY FIVE DOLLARS.

[MediaGuardian.co.uk | TiVo in dock after new Discovery]

The Crux: TiVo owners turn on their televisions to find it on the discovery channel.

CONSPIRACY! HORROR! BIG BROTHER! TERRIBLE INVASIONS OF MY TELEVISION VIEWING HABITS.

The Reality: TiVo owning folks don’t watch live television. Hell. I usually don’t even notice what channel it’s on, because by the time the television has warmed up I’m somewhere in the menu system.

The Bonus: OK, So TiVo downloads crap in the middle of the night by recording it off of the Discovery Channel. If they didn’t I never would have seen “Beat the Devil” with James Brown, Danny Trejo, Gary Oldman, and Mary Manson.

While I was out pimping candy, I had a conversation about a childhood memory.

Apparently I was some sort of linguist. I had determined that the word “Town” could be used as an adjective.

The usage was simple. Town goes directly after another adjective, or noun, to amplify it’s meaning. I’m pretty sure this came from the song “Funky Town”. Which to me, was a song about being EXTREMELY FUNKY.

I kept a diary around that time. In the front of it, it said. “Shawn’s Diary - PERSONAL TOWN”.

It may sound stupid, but it’s better than “hella”.

Most of the day was spent sitting outside of a grocery store selling Campfire candy. It’s a painful activity. However, I get to watch Zeb, and people. It’s a good studdy of humanity.

Usually what ends up happening is, Zeb distracts them with “Would you like to buy some Campfire candy?”. While they’re watching him, they end up missing the sliding door and slamming into a window, or just missing it.

High brow psychology usually loses out in my head to slap stick.

A couple times, Zeb forgot what he was saying. He had just said it too many times. Once it was “Would you like to be some Campfire candy?” Then another time he just froze. He started into it, and then completely forgot what he should be asking.

“Would you lik….. you…?” He stopped, and looked around. “What am I asking?”
“Would you like some Campfire candy?” I replied.
“OH! Yea… Would you like some Campfire candy?”

He also tends to startle people as they’re leaving the store. He waits until they’re halfway out the door and then, suddenly and stridently “WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CAMPFIRE CANDY?”

That usually ties into someone walking into the glass wall.

[Hans Blix Note Card Magic Sketch!!!!!!!! A ]

I don’t remember where I saw this. Perhaps it was Fark, or Metafilter. A Mr. N. Silver was auctioning a sketch of Hans Blix on eBay.

I bid $5. I don’t know why I did. I won.

I will now share with you…

Hans Blix in All His Glory

Hans Blix + Abe Lincoln: Explore the Mystery of Space!

Winning these really took the sting out of the Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwhich auction I lost last month.

Thanks Nick. Thanks a lot.

*Update*
I left positive feed back.

“Praise : IT WAS LIKE WATCHING GODS RISE FROM SLUMBER A+++++++++! ”

Also, Nick is from Cincinnati, OH. A while ago I was into fonts. I used to draw the alphabet. I think somewhere on this site you can dig up a font I made. Anyhow, I payed a patch punk a dollar to draw the alphabet for me. It was on the back of a Subway napkin. I had planned on, whenever I traveled, finding someone and having them draw the alphabet for a dollar.

[Invasion]

After Daks went down last night, I excused myself to do some light hiptop reading.

On the can.

I pulled the hiptop out of it’s case and…it’s…slimey. What the hell? When I looked inside of the pleather carrying case I saw… a sliced mushroom…slime… A SLUG?

Why the…when the…how the hell did a slug get into my hiptop case, and why is it hanging out all over my hiptop?

(pshhht) “WTF…OVER.”

I spent some time searching around the house trying to figure out where this slug was coming from, and how it got in to the house.

It came to me at 1 or 2 in the morning. Luckily Daks was awake because I blurted out…

“THE PAPERS”
“…what?”
“The papers, from the porch. It’s wet out there. I brought the slug in from the porch as it was on the underside of the plastic bags enjoying the wet plastic, as slugs are want to do. So then I slapped the papers down on the table, startling the slug. It scrambles from the bright flourescent lighting in the kitchen to the nearest dark enclosure to be found… my sidekick case. Hours later, I come along and jam a cell phone in on top of it, put it on the charger next to the bed, and then get it out later where I discover it ON THE TOILET!”
“… I accept that as the explaination.”

I’m pretty sure she just wanted me to stop.