I went to a swing club.

I was a little indignant when I saw that it was for couples only. I didn’t understand. You may just want to learn and socialize. Why would you need a partner?

uh…

I, ah…

They weren’t dancing.

I’m reminded of a “Thing” I saw Ghallager do once.

“And you need to release this aggression. Aggression against…this damn video game! No, it ain’t the game, it’s this controller! It’s the controller! It’s the controller!”
– Comedian Gallagher on a TV special, while repeatedly smashing an [Intellivision] and its hand controllers with a sledgehammer

I’ve been playing “Super Mario Sunshine”, which should account for the lack of communication from me these past couple days. (week)

I used to play these Video Games all the time. It’s my goal to be able to beat Zeb at these things. A terrible and bloody defeat is what I shall hand out. It’s just how I was raised. I still remember crying when my mom beat the “GIANT ORANGE HEAD THAT SPITS POLYGONS AT YOU” at the end of [arkanoid] before I did. She also knew the patterns that the backgrounds would have. That drove me nuts.

So, instead of seeing a mental health professional…I’m instead releasing all of those years of pain on a 6 year old Zeb. Match after match of [super smash bros. melee] ends with my controller vibrating. Another gruesome defeat dished out by Link.

So… I think I’ve established that I’ve gotten good at video games since I was a kid…or was it that I had some issues. Ok, If I didn’t, just take it as a given that I’ve got some hand/eye coordination, and can play a good game of Monkey Ball.

But Mario Sunshine, makes me want to toss this little box out onto my lawn. Between the camera controls, and the jumpy runny divey stuff, I get sooooo angry.

“with the jawbone of an ass have I slain a thousand men.”

So I’ve discovered that sometimes I can’t open my mouth. Some of you who know me might find that shocking. Others might find that explains a few things. This is largly dependant on what worldly sphere you’ve met me in.

I’m not sure how this will play out. It looks like I’m coming down with, or have always had a touch of the TMJ, or “Temporomandibular joint disease”. I told someone earlier that TMJ stood for “Turbo Mandicular Juice”.

I went over to the sunshine rainbow farting folks at [tmj.org] They tell me the following about the symptoms.

facial pain; jaw joint pain; often in combination with neck, shoulder, back pain and/or headaches
popping, grating or clicking sounds with movement of the jaw joint
pain in the joints of the face when opening or closing the mouth, yawning, or chewing
swelling on the side of the face and/or mouth
a bite that feels uncomfortable, “off,” or as if it is continually changing
limited opening or inability to open the mouth comfortably
deviation of the jaw to one side
the jaw locking open or closed
swallowing difficulties

The blue bird on my shoulder just took a crap. They follow that up with…

“TMJ” as we know it runs the gamut from a clicking or popping jaw and mild discomfort to complete jaw dysfunction and severe and intractable pain. It is important to remember that the majority of TMJ patients experience temporary discomfort and gradually get better with or without treatment.

Oh. Well then. That’s not so bad. Wait, what’s that you say?

However, for many others, it can be the beginning of a nightmare in which lives are destroyed, dreams shattered, families torn apart and people left bankrupt, desperate and without hope.

So, I think it better for everyone involved if I just wait for my jaw to fall off.